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JOURNAL
(cont.)November 28, 2001
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. AmenHail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.
November 22, 2001
HAPPY THANKSGIVING everyone!!!A friend and I just got back having our special Thanksgiving dinner at a soup kitchen in the city. We are grateful to God for quite an experience! Yes, it is an experience for us. However, for those who go there everyday for food and support, it is their life, their heavy cross. It was quite humbling to be there, not to serve but to be served as one of the "less unfortunates" as our society refers them.... The virtue of humility is getting to be ever more beautiful, precious and profound than what I used to think it was!
May the Lord give us the grace to experience his love and wisdom through everything we encounter, and help us to trust in him who is all in all. Amen.
The
French version of the site is done, and we recently updated the Paintings pages if you did not have a chance to check them out (there are two pages).November 18, 2001
How awesome are you O Lord!For those of us in the North who made the efforts to come out and watch the glorious sky filled with shooting stars this morning from 4a.m.- 6 a.m., especially around 5a.m. when the Meteor shower was at its peak would very much appreciate how awesome our Creator is as the Psalmist praised him:
the heavens proclaim the glory of God
and the firmament shows forth the work of his hands.
.Day unto day takes up the story
and night unto night makes known the message.
. No speech, no word, no voice is heard
yet their span extends through all the earth,
their words to the utmost bounds of the world.
. There he has placed a tent for the sun;
it comes forth like a bridegroom coming from his tent,
rejoices like a champion to run its course.
. At the end of the sky is the rising of the sun;
to the furthest end of the sky is its course.
There is nothing concealed from its burning heat....
How wonderful it was for those who were able to sing the Psalm praying, praising and contemplating him under the most magnificent and beautiful starry sky! "I have never seen so many shooting stars in my whole life!", " Yes, and neither have I. What a great blessing!" I prayed for the whole world and all creation.... I believe that there were enough shooting stars which covered all of my many wishes which I managed to tell him within an hour! besides praising and feeling at awed.
May we strive to live a holy life being the best God wants us to be so that we can all become like those shining stars in the magnificent sky. Then, there will always be light and no more darkness.... I pray for you all and for me, too. Amen.
HAPPY BL. GRIMOALDO SANTAMARIA'S FEAST DAY!!!
May his prayers obtain many graces and blessings for us as we continue to endure and persevere the rather strenuous journey especially during this time when we need to depend more on faith in God's loving mercy. Amen.
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November 16, 2001
Happy St. Gertrude Feast Day! Father Gerard gave a very edifying homily on it this morning.November 15, 2001
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New Helfta is perhaps more of an ideal than a reality. But it is an ideal that I am deeply committed to,... I follow a life deeply marked by the same spirit that inspired St. Gertrude, a nun of Helfta monastery in 13th Century Germany, that followed the Cistercian way of life."Tomorrow is your Feast, O dearest beloved St. Gertrude! You know that New Helfta is named mainly because of you. Please intercede for us who are a part of this New Helfta, especially its Founder. We are being tested! Please, pray that we always receive special graces to endure, and persevere to follow God's providence with the united spirit of love, hope and faith. Amen.
Blessed Grimoaldo's icon is about to finish. His feast day is this coming Sunday. Praise the Trinity, my deep gratitude to our Bl. Mother and Bl. Grimoaldo and thank you all for praying! the icon is ever handsome! :-). He looks much better than I had imagined when I first started this project. I will meet with the reporter of the Diocese Newspaper tomorrow to talk about the involvement of painting this icon. We will hear more about it later. The whole thing has been a grace!
Dear Blessed Grimoaldo! I do believe and count on your prayer for us all and for New Helfta. If you would like, we love to have you be one of our favorite holy ones of New Helfta! If the answer is yes then I hope and pray that you, St. Gertrude and others are hastening to intercede for us, especially the coming year! Many, many and many thanks.
November 9, 2001
Our Heavenly Master Artist Father is about to finish a part of his masterpiece. But Dearest Father! it is going to take me awhile to rake all of these leaves!, or should I say that it is going to take me a lot of energy to alter the yellow layer on the ground to a green one! But it is quite ok because I know you will assist me as you always do every Fall! It is so awesome looking out from my New Helfta cell windows feeling so colorful as if I am an object of His painting. It is very inspiring for me to imagine myself as a little girl trying to imitate her Father paint :-). As a matter of fact, Bl. Grimoaldo 's icon has many of the Fall colors :-). I have another week to complete the icon. Please continue to pray that I will be more focus and attentive to the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Thank You.November 6, 2001
How perfect and what a good timing for us to meditate on the life of sainthood. In my reading yesterday of The New Seeds of Contemplation, Fr. Merton wrote:"More than once Jesus had to rebuke His Apostles, who were wrangling among themselves and fighting for the first places in His Kingdom (
When I read the life of Blessed Grimoaldo, I cried a bit admiring his fervent spirit and suffering fighting for what he believed. For instance, he did not have a lot of support from the people including his family and friends, except for his mother. His Father hit him and tried to stop him from going daily to the monastery. He was locked outside intentionally once returning late from the monastery.... These events are perfect examples of what Father Merton speaks of above.
We are all called to be saints. I bet you that all the holy men and women who have gone before us and especially Blessed Grimoaldo would love to assist us to learn how to be holy. According to Fr. Merton, "A TREE gives glory to God by being a tree.... The pale flowers of the dogwood... are saints. The little yellow flowers that nobody notices on the edge of that road are saints looking up into the face of God.... The lakes hidden among the hill are saints, and the sea too is a saint who praises God without interruption in her majestic dance.... For me (Fr. Merton) to be a saint means to be myself." However, "Our vocation is not simply to be, but to work together with God in the creation of our own life, our own identity, our own destiny... we should not passively exist, but actively participate in His creative freedom, in our own lives and in the lives of others, by choosing the truth." (p. 29-32) Of course, this is much harder than being a lawyer, a doctor, or an engineer. However, what makes it possible is that God wills and wants us to be holy, as he is holy. As long as we try to be open and generous to his grace, we are on the right path. And I think what really matters is that we go forward in faith and hope because only God knows where the finishing line is.
O God come to our assistance. O Lord make haste to help us. Amen.
November 4, 2001
Fr. Thomas Merton's book: New Seeds of Contemplation is wonderful in deed, especially when we are open to the grace to read it with humility in seeking to get to know Him through all that are created. We can't exist and grow by ourselves. We are a part of His body. Unless, we submit and entrust ourselves to his providence and will, we will never learn how to be perfect as our Heavenly Father is perfect. Fr. Merton mentioned many times about dying to self. I pray that we will get the grace to experience that now and then because it helps very much to understand what it is to live as a part of His body, our Church.November 1, 2001
Happy Feast of All Saints Day! Blessed Grimoaldo's iconOctober 31, 2001
A dear friend told me the other day that she is so happy to hear her pastor said that God uses her and works through her. She also thought it was neat that I got excited telling her about the story of the blue eyes. We then talked about how the Lord often comes to us in the simplest and smallest ways. Therefore, unless we learn how to be simple and to appreciate all that are given to us whether big or small, we will never be happy and at peace finding him. Some of us often think that God does not favor us as much as others whose miraculous stories we hear about often. But it is not so!. If we don't know how to recognize how much God loves us, we will never know how much we are favored by him. God's love has no measure. It is like when we really love someone, we don't chose what or when to show it, but we would do anything and at any time....O Lord of love! please give us that special grace to recognize you in all we encounter. Help us to appreciate even the smallest thing we see because everything that is created by you is love and loved. Amen.
October 28, 2001 I got caught last week sometime watching too much TV even though I was trying to follow the news about the September 11 tragedy and bioterrorism (watching TV is not in my horrarium). Actually, I was not that innocent! I did manage to watch some funny programs when CNN stopped for commercials. As I was changing the channels, I encountered Mother Angelica who told me that I would be better go pray and ask our Bl. Mother to intercede for us rather than letting the Media have me all worked up! I did get the hint! :-) Thanks to our Bl. Mother!
Being so involved in things, we can be so caught up in them that we lose our sense of direction and focus. I had a hard time dealing with the horrific tragedy and even got mad at the Lord for allowing such things to happen. Rev. Father's homily yesterday was very consoling:
' "He (the Lord) does not attempt to resolve the great question that arises in all our minds in the face of catastrophe beyond telling us that we should see in it a severe warning to amend our own lives and to be ready to give an account to God for our souls.
The mystery of suffering remains mysterious for the Christian even after the resurrection of our Lord. But it does not remain meaningless; on the contrary, suffering and death itself take on a transcendent significance for those who put their faith and hope in Christ, the risen Lord of glory. That is the message St. Paul preaches in today's first reading ""If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Jesus Christ from the dead, will give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who dwells in you." '
Sometimes, there are no answers to questions as: Why things happen the way they do?, Why them? or Why me? And also, sometimes we don't like the answers we get! What we can all hope for is that these are the times for us to learn how to live more in faith, hope and love. It is the time to be humble trusting in God's loving mercy. Sooner or later, we will all face death, why not live more for the soul which lasts forever even after our mortal body dies!
May we all have the grace to hear the voice of the Spirit calling us home, and may she prompt us to respond generously to her. Amen.
October 25, 2001
Here we are on a new server. Praise the Lord! Thanks to Francois for taken care of finding the server and did most of the moving, actually, all of it! There are still some small things need to be adjusted, other than that we are settling in comfortably. I pray that the server will provide good service in the future too. Bl. Grimoaldo Icon is coming along well. The other day I was looking for someone with blue eyes to have a closer look at them because I had never painted blue eyes before. My Godfather, Wes has blue eyes so he gave me a picture of him to look at. I was a little disappointed because they were not that clear :-( About an hour later, a girlfriend of mine brought her friend to see me for a business meeting. After we were done, I realized that they both have blue eyes! Wow! Lord, you are too much! :-) Yes, you guessed it. They let me study their eyes. One of them reached for a Time Magazine on my counter and showed it to me: "Look! He has blue eyes!"; She smiled. And you know what? The cover picture on the magazine was very clear... I now know how to paint blue eyes! God always provides! Isn't he awesome! Thank you for your prayers! :-)October 20, 2001
Praise the Lord for a beautiful sunny fall day full of hope!We apologize in advance. We are in the process of switching to a new server. Therefore, there are some computer "bugs" which likely will occur in the next few days or so. Thank you for your patience.
October 19, 2001
Red light alert!!! I am doing some reading about "Hope", does that mean I need to experience despair to have a better understanding what it is to hope? Father Thomas Merton told me that through one of his books awhile ago. With God's mercy and grace, I will keep in mind and remember to accept the challenges ahead concerning disparity to be a grace when it comes. I believe that accepting God's providence in a positive way is a very important virtue, which contributes greatly to our peace and happiness as we travel this up and down journey. Growing in any direction and in any way is a paint-taking process. However, unless we face it frankly with faith and hope in God's providence and plan for our salvation, we will not grow and move forward.O Lord! Only you know what it takes for us to go through this. Please be merciful and loving as you are always, and grant us the grace to know deep down in our being that everything is going to pass and going to be ok because you are always with us. Amen.
October 18, 2001 Blessed Grimoaldo
October 17, 2001
I guess we are all shaken one way or another about the September 11 Attack! O Lord have mercy for the human race! :-(... St. Augustine comforted me by sharing his reflections and thoughts about the devastated news about the Sack of Rome by the Goths in 410 and his experience of the Vandals' invasion of Africa (429-30).' "Think of a man: he is born, he grows up, he becomes old... The world is old; it is full of pressing tribulations... Do not hold on to the old man, the world; do not refuse to regain your youth in Christ, who says to you: "The world is passing away, the world is losing its grip, the world is short of breath. Do not fear, Thy youth shall be renewed as an eagle." ' St. Augustine (cited in AUGUSTINE OF HIPPO a biography of Peter Brown, p.296)
It is the life in Christ that eternal... Yes if we recall the stories in the Old Testament, we will see that the Hebrew people had their ups and downs, and all that happened helped prepare God's plan of human salvation.
O highest and glorious Lord, the Father of all that exist! please cast your light into the darkness of our hearts, and strengthen our hope so that we don't lose our focus as we are approaching a rather rough path of our journey on earth. O Blessed Mother! please hold tight our hands that we are not able to let go no matter how weak we feel. Have mercy on us, the poor banished children of Eve. Amen.
October 13, 2001"Faith is a faithful wife.
Charity is an ardent mother.
October 10, 2001
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death! Amen. O Blessed Mother, pray for us!October 9, 2001
If is often the case that when we do not ask for much and are ready to accept whatever is given to us, we appreciate it more and are happier. If we expect too much and want to control everything, we will never sit still. Sometimes, we can even make others get annoyed with us. So, we should be more considerate and simple in everything we do, then we will find that life is more interesting and meaningful even when we are not running around keeping busy. In his homily given this morning at mass, Rev. Father John Eudes said:"...
Blessed Grimoaldo sure received a special grace to be ever generous and attentive to the happiness and needs of others as told by his Passionist brothers. These virtues of course do not come easy. It takes a lot of discipline and faith in God's loving mercy. I am certain our Blessed did not have it that easy. Purification of one's soul for the glory of God is what makes many of our brothers and sisters holy. Let's ponder on that for now and pray that our Blessed will intercede for us so that we will be more generous in responding to God's grace of purifying ourselves for the sake of peace and unity. Amen.
October 6, 2001
It was just sunny and beautiful. Now, it looks dark and gloomy. We, too often feel like that inside. Sometimes, the scenery around us inspires our moods very much. Other times, it has no effect at all. While some take these things for granted, others find them inviting. For those who find them interesting, is it the scenery, or is it our spirit that in control of our feelings and behavior. Or is it both? Of course the answer is different depending on each individual. However, one cannot deny that one's spirit definitely plays a major role in how he deals with himself and with others. In his recent homily, Rev. Father quoted:"Men may teach how to seek God, and angels how to adore him, but he alone teaches how to find him, possess him and enjoy him (The Golden Epistle, 266 Cistercian Fathers 12, Kalamazoo 1971)."
Our God who dwells in the deepest and hidden recesses of our heart, who is the very reason for our being seems to constantly keep us alert and active. He gives us opportunities and allows incidents that provoke our attentions and responses, which expose our various moods. If we have the grace to have faith and stay in focus, we will see what he is trying to teach us through the experiences we go through. But if we lose hope and perspective, we will be distracted. The experiences then will be an end in themselves instead of what were meant to be graces for the spiritual growth. Of course it takes many such experiences and sufferings to realize and accept that in the light of faith. Even so, one still has many difficulties entrusting himself totally to God. It is supposed to be that way because of our human weakness and imperfection. Who needs to learn what he has already known! As long as we are still traveling this journey on earth, there is no doubt that we are yet to be taught and purified! Therefore, no matter what, we ought not to be afraid or discourage, for he will always say: "It is I"
Grant us the grace O Lord, to remember to call on you always and perceive you in faith whenever we lose our focus and are about to fall. Please teach us to learn and grow in many virtues, which will assist us to build great hope and faith in you, the loving eternal Father who is all in all. Amen.
October 4, 2001
Happy St. Francis Feast Day!!!
Since when I don't remember, but I always have the grace to believe that St. Francis is very much keeping an eye on my little soul! [One reason may be because I was named after St. Clare of Assisi ;-)] I know for certain the main reason he is so is because I am his sister in creation! There are so much one can praise and thank God for him. I will leave the honor to the beloved Lord to tell about St. Francis.
This morning, I read a short passage from
FRANCIS THE JOURNEY AND THE DREAM by Father Murray Bodo. I would like to share just that:"And Brother Leo said, yes, he understood. The same feeling had come over him the first time he had heard Francis preach about the poor Christ. 'I ran out of the church, Francis, and gave all the coins I had with me to a beggar whose corner I had avoided for years because the man was such an aggressive and repulsive pest. And Jesus clutched my heart, and I know that I must somehow come to you and live with you, the man through whom the Lord had finally found me.' " (p.60)
St. Francis for sure was given a very special grace to follow Christ imitating literally the life of the Gospel. May his intercession obtain many graces and blessings for us so that we may persevere to be like Christ in all virtues and in everything we say and do. Like St. Francis, may we receive the grace to find God and his love not only in each person we encounter but also in all creatures in creation. Amen.
October 3, 2001
Praise the Lord! Genesee Abbey now has a new abbot, the former Prior Fr. John Denburger. Rev. Father gave a very edifying homily at the Mass of the Holy Spirit took place prior to the election, "which provided food for thought for both the abbot to be elected and the electors" (Br. Anthony). Personality, I think it is very helpful not only for those who were involved in the abbatial election, but also for each one of us. Since our existence in this rather complex society and our relation with one another require more than one party to make things work. He wrote:"The choice of the abbot is, however, but the beginning of a process whose successful functioning depends as much on ourselves as on the way the superior exercises his office. Our preparation for the election and our prayer to the Spirit would be incomplete if it does not include rededicating ourselves to our search for God, and the firm determination to collaborate with the man chosen. Only with harmony of minds and hearts and the generous giving of self by all can the efforts of the abbot bear good fruit. Benedict himself (the Founder of the Benedictine Rule which the Cistercians follow strictly) learned this truth by sad experience, having failed in his ministry to the first community of which he was superior, due to the resistance of his monks. Even a wise and saintly abbot cannot succeed without the willing cooperation of his monks."
For those of us who tend to be so involved with doing things that we lose our perspective at times and either get into trouble or offend others, this is a very good insight Rev. Father gave:
"He must have a sufficiently deep spiritual life that he remains at peace and is able to keep perspective so that he always gives primary importance to the good of souls rather than material matters or things of secondary importance."May the Spirit of God's love, unity and peace continue to guide us all. We pray especially for the 5th Abbot of Genesee Abbey and the brothers as they are heading to a new face of life adjusting to a new path, and for Rev. Father John Eudes also. And may anything we encounter in every moment of our life be a grace for us in recognizing God's way of loving care and teaching us how to get to understand him better for who is really is. Amen.
Blessed Grimoaldo's icon continues
October 2, 2001
O come Holy Spirit, come!!! O Blessed Mother, please pray for us!October 1, 2001
Let's pray for the brothers of the Abbey of the Genesee as they are getting ready for the abbatial election tomorrow starting at 8:00a.m. May the Spirit of God's love, unity and peace grant them many graces and blessings and guide them to elect a good and faithful servant and shepherd for his flock! Amen.And let's continue to pray for Rev. Father, Abbot John Eudes Bamberger for his deep peace, joy and happiness in the Spirit. May the Lord grant him many fresh graces as he is making the transition to live a new way of life in the Lord and the Bl. Mother. Amen.
September 30, 2001
Why am I worrying too much? Why do I want so much to have the power to be in control of what is going on? I must remember that the Lord does not give me what I cannot handle. He has all the power in this world to make things the way he wants! I must trust in him more and must let go of what is temporary of this world. I should spend more time focusing on what my real purpose is for being here. In order to do that, I must get out of my selfish corner where I think I am "it". Is it God whom I am after? Is it out of the love for my neighbors that I say and act the way I do? I know the answers should be "Yes" otherwise no matter how much he allows me to stumble, justice and truth will always conquer my evil ways whether I want it or not.O mighty and loving Father! Please remind us always the main purpose of our existence and our being here among our brothers and sisters. Please help us to assist and help each other with love as we head together toward the eternal home promised instead of being jealous, competitive, doubtful... and so on.
O Blessed Mother pray for us sinners. Amen.
September 29, 2001
HAPPY FEAST OF ST. MICHAEL AND THE ANGELS! "We too have a direct relation with God by virtue of the Holy Spirit who is given us, and yet God chooses often to deal with us through others. At times through angels, probably much more frequently than we perceive, for their action is invisible and subtle except in rare instances, when we sense their protection at times of danger or their inspirations that assist us at prayer or in some act of charity. More frequently, to be sure, the Lord treats with us through other men or women, who perform the same function as do the angels." (Rev. Father's Homily)Like the angels, may we always be attentive and generous in helping those who are in need. May we be humble and grateful to accept the help others offer. And of course, let love be the motive of our every good deed and action and not our expectation of something in return! Also, we should never feel guilty when we do not have a chance to pay back a person for what she or he did for us because there will always be a chance when we will find ourselves in that person's shoe offering our help to others.
September 28, 2001
Blessed Grimoaldo's iconSeptember 27, 2001
... and they fought and injured each other. I decided to separate the males from the females. Well, that did not last long. There was especially this one female which seemed to be very unhappy and wanted to fight all the time. So I tried to separate that female from the rest, though I put her cage right next to her siblings' so she would not feel lonely, and she seemed to be ok with it. Though she complained. After a few months, one of the males passed way because of old age. So they fought again because one of them did not have a partner! So I had to rearrange them and that brought some peace to the neighborhood. Then another male died. So I decided to put the three females together. Yes, you guessed it. They fought. I had no idea why. So again, I separated one of them which seemed to be the trouble maker, and everything was fine. Until a few days ago, the two females that were ok together in one cage now fought. I had it!!! and waited because I know there was nothing I could do to please them. I even asked the Lord what I should do because they felt lonely when I separated them, and they fought when I put them together. Fortunately, now that the weather is getting a little bit colder, those two seem to get a long better.This started since I first had the birds which was about 8 years ago. A book said they would live to be five years old at the most! Wrong! At one point I was telling myself that I couldn't believe it. I couldn't make these little finches happy. They didn't look that complicated and I decided to have them! Then, I thought of God and his human creatures especially. This world never seems to have one minute at peace. Always, there are either some sorts of disagreement between country and country, religion and religion, group and group, or individual and individual. My poor Lord! If he can't keep us happy, who am I to expect to keep my birds happy! ...
We are never content with what we have. We constantly need something to fulfill us and help us grow because we are not made to be complete by ourselves. So I guess I can't blame God for our unhappiness and suffering. We don't like to live with them, and we can't live happily without them. They seem to be a part of our journey toward God.
Dearest Lord! please help us to go deeper in our heart and learn to see and understand our world and our human race the way you want us to see. Please give us the wisdom and the patience to seek your will for us and help us to respond generously to your divine providence. Amen.
September 26, 2001 Finally, the sketch is finalized, and the panel is built... (go to insideblessed)
September 25, 2001
"Why is it Lord? Why didn't you stop them? Why did you allow it to happen?..." I guess we are not the only generation or the only era asking these questions. If we go to the Bible especially to the stories of the Old Testament, we will be reminded again and again that our God is a mysterious God who loves and treats us, his beloved creatures quite different from the ways we, the mortals, want to be treated at times. Our ancestors did not seem to get a straight answer from him that could help explain clearly to us to help us to accept and be at peace with what the human race is going through. Then I guess we just have to entrust ourselves totally to the Lord and believe that he, the almighty, just and most loving Father knows what he is doing!O Lord!
September 24, 2001 "... and then there were days I just wanted to give it all to the Lord, give him everything I have got, even my spirit so that I could start it all over again in him who alone is love!"
September 23, 2001
Today is coming to an end. We will "die" and rise again tomorrow to welcome new day, another day closer to the eternal life promised. "What did I do today that I wish I could have done better? What did I do today that I would like to do it again?" It is good to check on ourselves daily. It is good to be in touch with our true self. We definitely need it! "When I get up tomorrow, will I have the same feelings and have the same appreciation for the things that I encountered today? What lessons have I learned? I don't know unless I ponder and reflect on what I did"Yes, unless we are in touch with our true self, it is quite difficult to go through the day appreciate what special gifts we have received and continue to receive which make our day more special.
O Father of Creation, Maker of heaven and earth! Please sustain our faith and trust in your loving mercy. Even though we are impossible to deal with at times, please be patient and merciful, please help us to recognize our wickedness and vices, please purify our soul so we may be able to recognize you better and please give us the grace to understand and yearn for you who are our only hope to the eternal life. Amen.
September 22, 2001
For those of us who are getting impatient not knowing where we are heading to, in some way, it is a good thing; I think. That means we are still searching and being open to God's will, even though we have no idea what it is!. My teacher once told me: "Remember we are really at home only in the next world!!" Therefore, one should be more attentive when he or she feels so at home in doing something or being at some place. Also, whatever we so desire and are in haste to accomplish, always remember that everything is in itself an end, unless what we so desire to do, we do it for God."My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore, I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. +++ Father Louis, Thomas Merton---Thoughts in Solitude.
September 21, 2001
I happened to read an article today in our school Newspaper, The Lamron, about two American men hit a Muslim-American woman. All three are students of Stony Brook. I feel sorry for the woman and all those who are condemned for something they do not deserve. Anger and vengeance do not make one act right. At least, if one feels that he must do something to help the situation then go after the bad guys who caused all the blood shed. Do not let out that anger on those who are weak, helpless and innocent. Let put yourself in your opponent's situation. What if she were your sister?... Who are we to judge anyway? As the Lord said in the Gospels that let anyone who is free of sins, stone the adultery woman!Sometimes, the Lord allows things to happen in such a way that make us wonder whether he really loves and cares for us as he said he does! The truth is we do not think the way he thinks, and our perception of love is not his! So just pray that he gives us the grace to be patient to trust and to be able to persevere through our difficult trials. Projecting our anger, hatred and fear on others are not the solution to our weaknesses!
O Lord! Please forgive us our sins and have mercy on us, your children who still walk in darkness carrying the weak and mortal body. As you said that you desire mercy and not sacrifice. Please help us to recognize your loving mercy in each and everyone whom we encounter. Humble us and help us to repent. Help us to be self-less and learn to perceive things in this world the way you do. Amen.
September 15, 2001
Feast of Our Lady of Sorrow.Dearest O Blessed Mother! Please intercede for us, console and help us to imitate you in many virtues as we carry our cross daily following the Lord. Amen.
September 14, 2001
FEAST OF THE HOLY CROSS!!!
What divine providence!!!
Please help us to embrace your Holy Cross and follow you in deep joy,
peace and happiness O Lord! Amen.
September 12, 2001
"... When I was a little girl, it seemed that my whole world was my family, and when I was not happy, I fought with my siblings. Then I attended school. My whole world got a little bigger, and when I was not happy, I fought with my classmates. Then I finished schools, and became a member of the society. My world got even bigger... then I fought with other races and nations. Then I became a Christian.... Again, I incline to fight with other Christian denominations and non-Christian religions. Then after the horrific incident of yesterday 9/11/01 I see myself a human being living in this world yearning for the freedom, justice and peace which granted to me by God, the Creator. Now I fight with the devil! Praise God! His wisdom, power and loving mercy which shown through his beloved son, our Lord Jesus, have taught me that fighting, hatred, vengeance, etc, these vices are not the solution to happiness, peace and salvation of mankind.My teacher reminded me today:
'We are praying for the country today in a special way, especially for those involved directly in the disaster. It is a reminder for all of us that we are really made for life with God and not for this world, which is but a passing phase of our existence, though an important one....'"Let's all walk together as a human race in love, hope and faith trusting in the Creator as we continue to head for that eternal home of ever-lasting peace. May you give us the grace to yearn and seek the inner light to respond generously and wisely to your wake up call O Lord! Amen.
September 11, 2001
This day certainly made history!. My Lord and my God! :-(. I pray for all the victims who passed away and are injured physically and emotionally, for their family members and loved ones who are greatly suffering from such an act of evil, and for those who are helping them in their needs. May you strengthen our faith, hope and love. Please help us to be courageous and generous in forgiving and praying for those who caused us suffer for the sake of peace and love, O Lord. Amen.Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.
September 10, 2001
I went to a funeral mass today. She was in her 80's and used to wait for her husband at the door after morning masses. It usually took him longer because "he is the alter boy" (she once told me with a smile.) They didn't have any children, and now he has to do everything by himself. I feel so sorry for him. It is harder for the one who stays behind of course! :-(The Liturgy was very moving and beautiful. I wished there were more young people attended (I was the youngest there. The rest of the people are in their 50's and older.) Besides celebrating and remembering her life here on earth and mourning for her death, as Christians, we were reminded so much of what we are all about and why we are here. The priest who gave the homily emphasized greatly on faith. Yes, I could understand and feel it deeply. I pray for the husband who is now walking alone in this difficult part of the journey depending only on God's grace, mercy and companion which calls for a lot of faith!
No matter what we are called to do, the most difficult part of the journey will always be walking alone depending only on God in blind faith. That involves a lot of sacrifice and purity of heart in love...
May you help us O Lord to be courageous always in taking the next step on our own, by ourselves in blind faith and pure love believing that when the door of heaven opens, all our loved ones who have gone before us will be there waiting to be united with us together in you. Amen.
September 9, 2001
"...We are all teachers and students. Actually, that is how the spirit teaches us, using one to teach another since we, each individual alone, are never complete and perfect. Therefore, humility and openness to what others have to teach us are essential even when we don't like what others do or what we see in others. Instead of being upset about things and act selfishly to get even, if we try to see what insights and lessons we can learn from the experience, we would do better and grow more effectively in the spirit..."September 7, 2001
Trying to live right is not so easy. Being inspired by the Word of God is one thing, but trying to live it is another. We must learn how to go deeper in the spirit. It is important to seek help and support from those who have the same calling. Living on the surface and depending too much in the things of this world which are constantly change, and the people who do not have much confidence in themselves, sooner or later we will fall into temptations.O Lord of loving mercy! please grant us the grace to be prayerful, open and generous in listening to the inner voice of our heart so that we can learn to depend only on you who alone can fulfill the deepest yearnings of our body, soul, spirit and mind. Amen.
September 6, 2001
For those who have strong temperament and great determination, it is a must to learn and practice humility! Of course that takes a lot of work and suffering but unless we are purified by that virtue, our work and service will not bear much good fruit. The Lord sure taught me that great lesson in dealing with my getting ready for the painting of Bl. Grimoaldo. O Lord, that was tough and I am still learning it! Please remind us always to focus on the Crucified Christ who promised to help us carry our burdens and give us rest. Please give us the grace to see the goodness and peace of being humble as you once were for the sake of love! Amen.September 5, 2001
Many thanks to the Creator! what a beautiful morning we have today! Francois' email to me yesterday sure reminds us all of God's abundant graces and gifts to us. They are everything and everywhere. He wrote:"... I do not often pay attention to the beautiful things, even simple things which are in nature. You're right, I now realize that I do have to pay attention to that kind of things and see what wonderful gifts nature brought to us."
If we could let go of every thought, worry, anxiety, fear, etc (things that preoccupy our mind every minute of our daily life), sit still for awhile in
silence and listen with the ear of the heart, we will notice that there is something beautiful and serene within us, something that we all yearn for but not knowing exactly what it really is. It lies in the very center of our being.... He is calling us home!... Unless we know that we are home and feel at home, every where is a strange place, and everything is appreciated not for what it really is but its external appearance. God creates everything, and everything is good. We can't appreciate their beauty unless we are open to perceive them the way he wants us to see!May You give us O Lord, the grace to learn how to be still and know that You are God!, to love and to appreciate You for who you really are and are all in all! Amen.
September 4, 2001
When we are so interested in doing something and try to accomplish it as best as we can, we often become very self-centered and forget that there are others around us who may get hurt because of our selfishness. Anything we do, without charity, has an end in itself. So let's pray that our eyes always stay fixed on Christ who is love, and that we prefer nothing whatever to him!We pray O Lord that you will always pull us back whenever we wander far away from you, and please remind us that nothing can be perfect apart from your will. Amen.
September 1, 2001
A few days ago, I just finished reading a short version story on the life of St. Clare. With her determination to endure and persevere to follow Christ no matter how much she suffered, oppositions of others, including her many relatives did not waver her but on the contrary, she gained greater strength, zeal and fidelity to embrace her true cross given by the beloved Lord with deep peace, joy and happiness!It seems that the Lord does let us know when the cross we carry is the true cross. When we carry the true cross, we blame on no one for our suffering. There is no one else but just our naked soul before the beloved and merciful Lord.
Let's pray that we only suffer from the true cross given to help us grow in the spirit. Give the ones that we suffer for nothing to the Lord, and trust in him, our loving Father who knows our very heart. May you give us the inner peace, joy and happiness in recognizing and carrying the true cross O Lord! Amen.
August 30, 2001
TRUE HUMILITYAugust 29, 2001
MEMORIAL DAY OF MARTYRDOM OF ST. JOHN THE BAPTIST!I recall when I first encountered the story how St. John the Baptist was killed, I was rather upset and quite disappointed because the death of such a holy prophet was just a result of the proud, selfish, vengeful, and uncompassionate vices of a king, a woman and her daughter! Now, I have a better understanding of how dreadful those vices could do! Whenever there is a misunderstanding, a conflict, or a fight, it is not the physical presence of the people who are involved that makes the matter dreadful, but it is the deadly inner vices caused by human weaknesses and sins. So don't ever think that people can know people by the way they look or by the few encounters. We humans are much more complicated than what we think. So, if we don't expect too much of others and of us, then we won't be as disappointed and hurt.
O Lord of mercy and Father of creation! No matter what and how we suffer, please always give us the grace to see the lesson behind it, and remind us always suffering is a process of learning how to grow in the spirit. And most of all, please assure to us that it is a step closer we are to your son, who embraced the cross faithfully for us and who is "the Way, the Truth and the Life" to ever lasting life. Amen.
August 28, 2001
HAPPY ST. AUGUSTINE FEAST DAY!The humble St. Augustine is a precious gift from God, an excellent teacher to all who seek, and is one of the greatest and most beloved Fathers of the Catholic Church. I will let The Confessions ("St. Augustine directed attention of his people to examination of the inner motives and hidden dispositions which influenced and even determined their decisions and actions. He was aware that in his Confessions he had given a strong impulse to the struggles that take place in the heart with those passions which dominate the lives of the majority and obscure the way of freedom and truth that lead to God." Rev. Father's
19th SUNDAY-CHAPER) do its job in helping each one of us individually to get to know him and ourselves better. May his prayer for us, especially today gain us many blessings as we continue to seek him (God)! Amen."'Know yourself because you are My image, and so you can know Me, whose image you are, and you will find Me within yourself. If you will be with me in your mind, then I shall recline with you, and from there I shall pasture you.' William of St. Thierry (cited in Constable, op. cit. 276)." Rev. Father's
August 27, 2001
Happy Feast of St. Monica (St. Augustine's beloved mother)!"What Augustine remembered in the Confessions was his inner life; and this inner life is dominated by one figure - his mother, Monica.... The relationship between mother and son that weaves in and out of the Confessions, forms the thread for which the book is justly famous. Yet it takes two to make such a relationship.... Occasionally, we glimpse a genuinely impressive woman - very much what her son would have liked himself to be, as a bishop: restrained, dignified, above gossip, a firm peace-maker among her acquaintances, ...
Whenever one of her sons when astray,' She acted as if she was undergoing again the pangs of Child-birth.'...'I have no words' he wrote (St. Augustine), 'to express the love she had for me, and with how much more anguish she was now suffering the pangs of child-birth for my spiritual state than when she had given birth to me physically. I just cannot see how she could have been healed if my death in sin had come to pierce the entrails of her love.' 'If the souls of the dead took part in the affairs of the living, if it was really they themselves who spoke to us, when we see them in our sleep... then my pious mother would not fail to visit me every night, that mother who followed me over land and sea that she might live with me.'
...; she had been the voice of God in his early life;..."(AUGUSTINE OF HIPPO a biography by PETER Brown, p.29-30)
We praise thanksgiving to you O Lord and pray for all mothers, especially for those who are responsible to teach and help nourishing our faith. We pray for all sons and daughters of the spirit that they may soon hear your voice and respond generously to you. Amen.
O Saint Monica, please pray for us!
August 26, 2001
St. Gertrude shared a very good lesson today:"She was praying one day for people who had harmed the community..., and were causing great trouble...the loving and merciful Lord appeared to her... as though one of his arms were causing him pain; it was twisted as though it were dislocated and almost helpless.... And the Lord said: 'Consider what torture I should feel now if someone were to hit me with a blow of the fist on this arm. I am afflicted by just such pain by all those who, without compassion on the peril to which the souls of your persecutors are exposed, frequently recount the defects of these their enemies and the injuries they have inflicted. They do not remember that these people too are members of my body (cf. 1Cor. 12). All those, on the other hand, who are moved by loving compassion and who implore me in my mercy to convert them and to reform their lives from error, are like those who put soothing ointment on this arm. And as for those who are kind enough to advise them to amend their ways, they are like skillful doctors who gently manipulate the arm and restore it to its natural position." (GERTRUDE of HELFTA the Herald of Divine Love, trans. Margaret Winkworth, p.230).
For those of us who are trying to live a life of holiness in serving the Lord and his Church, a constant reminder that we are members of Christ's body is absolutely necessary. Whatever we do and chose to act upon, we must be careful not to do it out of self-love, selfishness and jealousy (some of the worst vices in the spiritual life). If we are not made to perform such duties, we ought to leave them to those we are made for such tasks. Of course, it is not easy to do so since we have our weaknesses. However, the Lord is always beside us to help. When those feelings arise, give them to him through deep prayer of the contrite heart (weep if we need to) with the conviction to do good even though we do not feel like it. He sure will help us. Feelings are not sinful, unless we agree and act upon them.
O Lord! please give us the insights and the grace to recognize our weaknesses. Strengthen our mortal self and help us to persevere to love and to serve you and your church faithfully! Amen.
August 24, 2001
HAPPY FEAST OF THE APOSTLE BARTHOLOMEW!
Every being is precious under God's eyes. We are created out of love and in his image. Therefore, we are loved and know how to love. Though, we have to learn how to find ourselves first to know ourselves and therefore to be able to seek him. For God's honor and glory, anything we do, if it is out of love, he sure will bless it and make it complete. Of course, it takes a lot of courage, patience, fidelity, trust, faith... in his providence to perceive his will!
O Father of love, and is love! Please teach us love so that we may come to know you better and be united with you more fully as we continue to walk the journey home! Amen.
August 22, 2001
I got a little upset with the Lord today for allowing me to fall unconsciously. Sorry Lord! That was not very humble of me! Then I understood that I needed to fall so I could be alert and stay awake waiting in patience for you who could come any moment to feed my spirit. It is like in the Gospels where he said he comes as a division among the love ones. At first, I did not like that reading at all. Then I understood that he did not mean the way I thought he did. We would see him as a threat as he said it because he comes to set us free from selfish love we have which is especially strong among family members. We often take our love ones for granted just because we think we are of the same blood therefore we expect a lot of them. However, what we do not consider is that no matter who we are, we are born free as children of God and therefore unique in different ways. What really strengthens a relationship is the spirit...O Father of our spirit! please teach us how to get to know you, to treat each other with patience and respect knowing that we are all one in you, belong to you and are under your loving care. Amen.
August 21, 2001
"Be merciful O Lord for we have sins" I sing that verse now and then at the Abbey church, but today, I could hear it really echo from my heart! The Lord allows us to act selfishly sometimes even though deep down inside we consciously do not want to do it. Why? In my situation, I think he does that to humble me. Praise you Lord for giving me the grace to see that. I think I needed it. Yes, humility is one of the very essential virtues needed in the growing process of the spiritual life.Rev. Father wrote in his recent chapter talk: "The person who possess this virtue in a high degree has neither the need to deny his faults and mistakes nor any special talents he may enjoy. He takes responsibility for his faults and, for the proper use of gifts that he accepts as given in trust, to be expended and returned to the giver with interest. He is free, for he is situated in truth and so is sustained by the realities of his own character and of the world in which he finds himself." It was too perfect for me to ponder on it today.
O Lord! Please forgive me for being a bit arrogant today! :-(. For those of us who feel like flying high often, it is good to be down on the earth surface now and then to balance us out.
O Lord of loving mercy! Please remind us always that it is not a bad thing to accept our weaknesses. Unless we admit them, we will not try to work on them. Have mercy on us Lord, have mercy! Amen.
August 20, 2001
Happy St. Bernard Feast Day!Let's go to Rev. Father's
chapter talk. We will sure get to know St. Bernard better. It is too bad in a way that not many of us know him. One of the main reasons may be because he is not an active Saint as one would see it. Though, the more we get to know his writing, the more we will realize that he was surely very active and alive in the spirit!He is known as Saint Bernard of Clairvaux, the Cistercian Abbot who was a very fervent and devout Christian, an ever-faithful servant of the Lord and a favorite son of our Blessed Mother. St. Francis and St. Claire of Assisi were very much influenced by his spirit. Also, the main theme for the
sixteen painting series which I am working on for the Geneseo United Methodist Church was mostly inspired from his sermons on the Song of Songs. You got to check them out!May his intercession obtain for us many graces and blessings as we learn how to love and to get to know the Lord and his Blessed Mother! Amen.
August 18 & 19, 2001
HAPPY ST. JOHN EUDES FEAST DAY! Happy Feast Day Rev. Father!Dearest Lord!, may you bless our Rev. Father, Abbot John Eudes Bamberger abundantly especially today and tomorrow on St. John Eudes' Feast Days. Please continue to bestow on him many graces and blessings as he is about to walk on a new path of his journey after thirty some years of being such a fervent Abbot. We pray also for the Genesee brothers as they are getting ready for the abbatial election in a few weeks. May your will be done! O Lord whatever happens, may it be for the good of all! Amen.
August 17, 2001
A very generous rain was given to us last night. It is so amazing. Everything comes alive, specially the grass which seemed to be dead long ago. Praised be to our Lord! "So do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil." (Matthew 7, 34). It is so easy to say so, but it takes a lot of trust for those who are going through trials to accept it with confidence and peace.O Lord of loving mercy! Please give us the help we need to sustain our faith and trust in you. Time is going by fast, let us count the days and look forward to that kingdom promised. No matter what, please grant us the grace to persevere to accept and follow your providence faithfully even at times we seem to walk in darkness. Amen.
August 16, 2001 In today Gospel, the Lord tells us to forgive our brothers and sisters not just seven times but seventy times seven. What did he really mean by that?
August 15, 2001
HAPPY FEAST OF THE ASSUMPTION OF THE BL. VIRGIN MARY!"A GREAT SIGN APPEARED IN HEAVEN: A WOMAN CLOAKED WITH THE SUN AND HAVING THE MOON UNDER HER UNDER HER FEET
(Apocalypse 12:1).... ", the homily given by our Abbot today.Our dearest Bl. Mother! How can any of us ignore and deny your so significant of a role: being the Mother of our Lord? How can any of us not have much compassion and love for you who went through much suffering and managed to endure to be ever faithful to your son especially at the foot of the cross? There is be no excuse for any of us who carries the human heart, to put you aside while trying to learn how to love and to serve the Lord faithfully. Being either a child or a parent ourselves, the more we get to know the Lord and experience and share his great love, the more we should understand and love you whom he loves most!
Please intercede for us to the Trinity that we may be free to live and act fully as individuals who are created uniquely in the image and the love of God! Unless we find our real self and be whom God wants us to be, we will not know who we are, and therefore, it will be much more difficult for us to seek God himself, as St. Augustine taught us.
O Lord! Please hear our prayers and your Bl. Mother's intercessions for us. Give strength to our spirit, keep us safe from all harms and sustain our faith always as we continue to travel the journey home. Amen.
August 11, 2001
HAPPY FEAST OF THE BELOVED ST. CLAIRE OF ASSISI!
As a Christian, I was named after her, the very dear follower and sister of St. Francis.
"St. Claire had never proved unfaithful; she realized that it was God's special love that had protected her. However, it was not her innocence that gave her the confidence needed to sustain her in the years of testing in poverty, but her strong faith in the tender love of God... 'I will espouse you to myself forever. I will espouse you to myself in justice and with judgment, in loving kindness and tender love', says the Lord. "-- Rev. Father John Eudes Bamberger (
homily on St. Claire Feast Day)May you intercede for us, our beloved and faithful sister. Amen.
August 1, 2001
praise the good Lord! We finally found the problem why the site did not look good on Netscape. It looks wonderful now! Many thanks to my two cousins who have been working late to make it perfect. They updated the index page. Now, for those who use Netscape, you can see the descriptions of the links in the Index Page by dragging the arrow along the links.Many thanks to my good friend and teacher for being so faithful and honest about what he thought that turned out to be a very big help in improving the design of New Helfta web site, despite the fact that I don't always listen J!
Thanks to Mrs. Reiholtz for being so patient with me. Her patience helped me to endure and finally spotted the problem. Or shall I say it is the Lord who was very patient with my persistence and answered my ardent prayer!
The site is now officially done. I will introduce us to Helfta as soon as we are ready. I have learned a lot in the last three months working on the site. There is always a good lesson in everything we deal with in life. This is one of the biggest lessons I have learned about myself in dealing with God's grace. Thank you Lord for this great gift, for all who are involved directly and indirectly, and especially for the future to come. May you continue to guide us as we continue to walk in your light. Amen.
July 29, 2001
For those of us who are easily "anxious and troubled about many matters", our Abbot gave a very good Chapter Talk today. He emphasized heavily on prayer, which I found very edifying,"... All prayer, he (St. Benedict) states in the chapter devoted to that topic, should be humble and devout, that is to say, attentive to God's dignity; it must also be pure, marked by compunction and come from the heart..."; "...'The man who loves God constantly lives and speaks with him as a Father (Praktikos and Chapters on Prayer, 54, Cistercian Studies 4, p. 63).' But the character of that interior conversation will depend on the conception one has of the Father. Is he viewed as lovingly merciful, full of concern for the welfare and happiness of his creaturely son? Or is he viewed primarily as all-powerful, a just judge and exacting."
O Heavenly Father! Please give us some more rain. The fields look wilted. The animals need to drink, and so do our gardens and flowers. We are not capable of providing water for them all, but with you anything is possible. Have mercy on all your creatures, O Lord have mercy!
July 28, 2001
We updated the homepage. New Helfta description is on the homepage. We also rearranged a few paragraphs and pages. I am very grateful for all who helped make it complete. Though, I had a chance to look at the site through Netscape today, and it is a little disappointed because many pages did not look the way they are supposed to :-(. Our webmaster, Francois will look into it, but at the same time, if you have a few minutes, would you let us know how the site looks on your computer? (all headings of the pages are supposed to be bigger and others are bigger than font size 10). Many thanks.Sometimes, we try so hard, but things just don't turn out the way we want. Is the Lord trying to teach us something? He sure taught me a lesson today! :-)
July 27, 2001
What a beautiful day! A precious gift is given to us through nature! Unfortunately, most of us do not make an effort to enjoy it to appreciate it. Like many things in life, since it is given so freely, we often take it for granted. But, you know! God continues to give and give. He gives because he is love and not because we have done anything to earn or deserve it. May you grant us, O Lord, the grace to be as generous and loving as you are to all your creation? Amen.July 25, 2001
praise the Lord and our Lady of New Helfta! Everything seems to come together. O. L. of New Helfta has appeared on some of the search engines. The spirit is optimistic and promising. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. May we be generous in responding to his call, and let's all pray for discernment to do his will. Amen.
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