May 3, 2005 Br. Isaiah exhibited his expertise in climbing coconut. In Cebuano jargon, people who climb coconuts, as a means of livelihood, are called "coconut pilot." Br. Isaiah said that he learned climbing coconut trees when he was still a boy. It started when he was requested by his sister to climb one for their "merienda" (snacks). Since then he often climbs coconut trees even as high as 50-60 feet. However, he did not become a professional coconut pilot, but got a degree on Bachelor of Science in Accounting. There were several occasions here that he exercised his skills in climbing coconut. One was when we were having a common work gathering all those logs up and down the hill in the coconut area. He volunteered to climb several coconuts so as to quench our thirst.

May 18, 2005 Today we started our community retreat. I remember when I first visited here in 1984, the community has just finished their retreat. One of the retreatants with me commented how come that the monks still go on retreat when their life is already a retreat. I don't really have an answer at that time. Now I realize that this is part of canon law, so no wonder that religious communities and their members has to make an annual retreat. In canon 663 § 5, the Obligation and Rights of Institutes and of their members, it says: "They are faithfully to observe the period of annual retreat." But even if it is not stated in canon law, I think it is just right and fitting that religious has to make an annual retreat either as a community or individually to recharge their energies and be able to go back again to their respective task with renewed vigor and strength. This is also a fulfillment of the injunction of Our Lord to go to only place to rest for a while. In this case, rest in the Lord.

The Theme for this year's retreat is "What Matter is to Love." Our retreat master is Bishop Teodoro Bacani. Bishop Ted was with us from November of 2003 till February of 2004. He was gracious enough to accept my proposal to give our annual community retreat for 2005.

In his conference this morning, he said that people in the world are doing things to make them popular, but the monks lived a hidden life. We might be thinking that it is better out there, outside, because that's where the action is. However, what matter is not what you do, but what you are. He points out two kinds of love: The first is Love of Concern: To love is to give, to share, to make sacrifice for someone, a living for someone. The other one is Love of Companionship: A living with someone. You feel joy with the presence of the beloved. Then you look back with joy at those moments spent with someone whom you loved. These two kinds of love compliment each other.

The most important thing, the highest value is love. The person is worth of what he is and not of what he has. Nothing draws a person to love than the knowledge that he/she is loved. God is love. God has many other characteristics such as merciful, kind, compassionate, etc, but Love is the most outstanding characteristic of God. In other words, no matter how you invert God he is always love. "You exist because I love you," God said to St. Catherine of Siena. We human beings are the only creatures on earth which God created for Himself.

May 19, 2005 Second Day of Retreat.
He told of a story of a priest who preached about the love of God. A drank man sat at the back of the church shouted saying: "Narinig ko na iyan!" (I have heard it already!). The priest repeated the theme about the love of God for 3 times and the drunkard answered the same. The priest was so angry and said to the drunkard: "If you won't stop mocking me I will box you." The drunkard answered: "That I have not heard!" He also told another story of a man who has a dog that was dying. He was praying that he is willing to do all things just to save the dog. He was told by God that his dog will be saved if he is willing to become a dog and be called dog himself, but the man doesn't want it. On the other hand, the Word of God who is God himself became man to save man and was not ashamed to be called man. He even often referred himself as the "Son of Man."

Man, if he has a dog or a pig, no matter how he love the dog or the pig, if someone will call him, "a Dog, " or "a Pig" he is angry and felt insulted, but God was not ashamed to be called "a Man." He even called man as his brother, sister, & mother. "Whoever does the will of God is my brother, and sister, and mother." Each one of us is the expression of the love of the Son of God in His Incarnation.

May 20, 2005 3rd Day of Retreat.
The Father gives everything he has to the Son except His being Father, and the Son gives back everything to the Father except his being Son. This link between the Father and the Son is no other than the Holy Spirit, the love between the Father and the Son.

There are 3 translations of the word "Good" in Filipino: 1st "magaling." It has to do with our relationship with the people. In healing the deaf and blind the people say, "He did all things well." You do things well putting your heart in what you are doing. The 2nd is "mabuti" (upright). It has to do with our relationship with God. Doing what is right. Our Lord is upright, saying to the Father: "I do always that pleases you." The former president of the Philippines was quoted by bishop Ted as "magaling" because he was concerned with the poor people, but not "mabuti" because he was not in a right relationship with God. The 3rd is "mabait." It has to do with a right relationship both with our fellow human beings and God.

How do we catch this love of God, which is meant to energize us? The most obvious way is to cultivate our prayer life and exercise our faith. It is a great act of faith to be able to pray. Our Lord gave us an example of how to cultivate our prayer life by rising early in the morning while it is still dark and went to a lonely place to pray. Prayer is like a window opening our activities and thoughts to another influence than simply our own minds and feelings, opening to God. Part of a genuinely Christian approach to life will include this constant, frequent consultation of God about the events, activities, problems of our daily life. We Christians believe that we are not alone, that God is present and available to influence what we do and think. Without prayer we in effect are saying that we can take care of everything by ourselves and do not need guidance or help from God. Not every matter we bring before God will necessarily require that we spend the whole night praying over it, but why should not God be involved in every detail of our life by opening our life to God in prayer? Besides using our minds, the advice of our friends and counselors, why not let God have a say about what matters to us?

3 ways to exercise our Faith:
1. Prayer
2. Reading
3. Liturgy. In Liturgy, Christ act in, with, and through the Church.

Only the heart that loves the neighbor knows God. A resentful heart does not know God.

May 21, 2005 4th Day of Retreat.
Love is our primary calling. Man might fail in business, but if he is successful in love, he succeeds. Our greatness must not be measured by accomplishment, but by our love. True love is to will the good of others irrespective of our feelings. Like is more self-centered. For example, I like my shoes. When I like something I use it for myself. When I don't like it any more I discarded it. Whereas, when I love I use myself for the one I love. It becomes a duty even if we don't like it. For example, a soldier is commanded to attack an enemy; even if he does not like it he has to do it because it is his duty. When two young couple got married and kissed each other, it is a romance, but after 50 years when they don't have anymore teeth & still have to kiss each other, it's a duty.

Love of our neighbor. 3 ways in loving them:
1. Love them as ourselves. In the story of the Good Samaritan, we can ask the question why they went the other side. In his comment of this passage, Martin Luther King said that each of them was asking the question: "What will happen to me if I will help him?" The Samaritan asked another question, "What will happen to him when I will help him?"
2. "Love your neighbor as I love you." This love is what is called "agape," loving inspite of - Divine Love.
3. "Love your neighbor as Me." I have a real presence in the poor. Christ in the Blessed sacrament is silent, but Christ in other person disturbs us, challenges us.

Of ourselves we cannot love. If left to ourselves we are only capable to sin. There are obstacles, forces that are opposed to love:
1. We are born in a sinful world.
2. The accumulated sins throughout history, our own generation. They influenced our environment.
3. Our own sins. We are already forgiven, but the healing took a long time. Sin is a love of self in the contempt of God. Venial sin is a weakening of our love for God. It is not a reversal of our love for God.

May 22, 2005 5th Day of Retreat.
Steps and Accompaniment to love: Humility and Detachment
Humility - The one who wants to love must be a humble person. The person who is proud put himself on the center. A humble person is not a self-centered person, but other-centered person. Humility is actually/really a poverty of spirit, the first beatitude. It displaces us from the center. Humility is down-to-earth, a Realist. A person who is humble sees the truth, for humility is truth.
Detachment - It doesn't mean that we should not be attached to person, place, things, work, because this would be inhuman. But what is forbidden is inordinate attachment. If God takes that person, place, or things from us, then what we can say is: "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

-We have to grow in loving by being attentive & sensitive to each other's needs.

4 needs to build a community:
1. A need to be needed: it is painful to be told, "You are useless!"
2. The need to be wanted: You want a person for herself/himself not what he/she can do for you.
3. The need to be supported: Not only material support but spiritual & psychological support as well. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Characteristics of a supportive person:
a) Appreciative
b) Thankful

4. The need to be forgiven: If we don't forgive, we will not be at peace to see the person whom we do not forgive.
There's a story of a woman who was almost paralyzed. She walks staggeringly & dragging her feet. Her husband had an affair with their maid. The maid was sent away. Soon the husband died. This weighed her down so much. However, she still attends their prayer meeting. Bishop Ted encourages her to forgive. Finally, she sighed and said: "I forgive!" Then she was told to stand up & walk. Suddenly, she stood up & walked normally, shaking hands with all the participants of the prayer meeting and testifying to them how much God loves her. That's the power of forgiveness.

This reminds me of another story how forgiveness heals: A girl was being treated for several months for anemia but without any success. So her doctor decided to send her to a sanatorium faraway. The first thing she got there, she underwent a thorough physical examination. And the examining doctor found her blood count to be completely normal. The referring doctor double-checked it and could not believe his eyes. So he called in the girl and asked her, "Has anything out of the ordinary happened in your life since your last visit? "Yes," she admitted. "Suddenly I was able to forgive someone against whom I had borne a nasty grudge all my life. At that moment, I felt completely changed inside." So now the doctor knew the answer. Her mental attitude had changed, and the very state of her blood had changed with it. Therefore, being angry at someone can be stupid, because the other person might not even be aware of it. So, the only one being harmed is ourself.

May 23, 2005 6th Day of Retreat.
Bishop Ted told a story of a parrot who used to say to a woman passing by early in the morning: "Psst, Pangit!"(ugly!)The woman was very angry and threatened the parrot that if he does it again he will be killed. The following morning, the woman was passing by. The parrot said: "Psst," and the woman said, "O ano?" (Oh what?) The parrot answered: "Alam mo na!" (you know it already!)

For Christ, his criterion for loving the Father is obedience. "I must" implies impulsion from the heart. I must buy a gift for her. Today is her birthday. "I must be in my Father's business." "We must" - compulsion. Food is a necessity. For Christ to do the will of the Father is a necessity. He will die if he will not do it. As though he was saying, "If I will not do the will of my Father I will die, I cannot survive. My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me." Food is a delight. To do the will of the Father is a delight. His obedience is the reason why he is the source of salvation for us. "Although he was a Son, he learned obedience through what he suffered; and being made perfect he became the source of eternal salvation to all who obey him." The purpose of obedience is to seek to do the will of God. Christ was so enthusiastic for the kingdom of God. He shows also his love for the Father through his prayer. Christian prayer is Christ praying in me & with me.

May 24, 2005 7th Day - Last Day of Retreat.
Living in love as a way of life is the way Our Lord Jesus has chosen for us to grow in love.

3 Things common in Apostolic poverty & Monastic poverty:
1. Life of the religious should be characterized by simplicity,
2. Govern by the principle of stewardship,
3. Govern by the sense of service to one another & to the Church & to the whole society.

Simplicity: What do I need, & what can I do without?
Stewardship: We should not squander things because we are only steward.
Chastity: God is really asking a total gift of our heart. "Let Me be your only love." Thus other things are done, e.g., custody of the eyes to guard the heart. For Edward Schillebeckx, "celibate chastity is an existential incapacity to get married." A person who commits himself/herself to Christ is incapable of getting married to another person.

Red flag for religious person that indicates chastity is in danger:
1. Obsession with the person
2. Jealousy: it pains when the other person is with someone else
3. Secrecy: start dating with the person

Paschal Mystery: We don't have to look for the cross. It will come to us when we truly love, because we will certainly bump on it.

May 26, 2005 Rainy season is at hand. People around the area are starting to cultivate their field taking advantage of this free water from on high without cost. Br. Delfin finds himself to be one of them. He is sowing corn. Just recently at least two monks had to go out everyday to buy water in a big container to supply for our daily needs. Now we are relieved from this arduous task. Our reservoir can supply water now for the Food Manufacturing. It has an R.O. machine (reverse osmosis) for purifying our water. This is very safe for drinking. So, we got our supply of drinking water from our FM. We are even planning to sell our own water in the new future. This is already business, but that's okay. We have to eat also.